Don’t buy another diet FAD until you’ve read this.
(I’m not making money off this – I just want to EDUCATE you because I’m sick of people wasting money on FADs)

When I was in my first year of school, we learned about dinosaurs -I loved dinosaurs!- we learned of the climate they lived in, the other dinosaurs that threatened them and what their diet consisted of.

Now I’m not talking about regular weigh-ins and measuring events monitored by a PT (Personal Trainer), I’m talking about what they ate to thrive…. that’s what a diet is!

But in general conversation the word “DIET” comes up in an evil, hushed, dirty, secret way almost every time. The funny thing is, we’re all on a diet. It doesn’t matter if you’re slurping down milk fat, gorging yourself on processed wheat and powdered sugar cane with fructose loaded gelatin (jam on toast) or having something healthy OR mixing it up….?

You’re already on a diet.

No the problem, as most of our problems are, stems from the media sector’s need to sell advertising.
i.e. Using fear and comfort to sell.
Fear of rejection of the opposite sex. Fear of failure in the workplace. Then once you’re scared sh*tless, they offer the comfort of concentrated foods. The best part is that because these foods are concentrated (refined), they give us a high that’s beyond regular food (duh! cause they are concentrated) and then there is the corresponding low afterward, which we naturally fill with more of the high from eating more of the concentrated, processed foods.

Are you sensing a cycle?

Do you have an image of a mouse on a wheel right now? Ditto.

But instead of blaming them (the media) – take control! This is not about body image or fitting into a swimsuit or going in the opposite direction that the media also likes pouncing on – GUILT. No. This is about your health and well-being. This is about being the best you that you can be and it doesn’t involve expensive protein shakes, supplements or some new fangled tape you’re going to play yourself as you go to sleep, it’s just common sense… learned from my experience and the experience of others…

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1. Whether you are searching for a partner or answers, don’t be overwhelmed by poor examples. Think like a new driver trying to get onto the motorway for the first time… If you look for cars, you will always find one. You really need to be looking for gaps.

2. Imagine if you can take pleasure while adding to lives around you?
Stop imagining.

3. If you feel you can’t change the way you think?
Remember your brain never exists exactly the same way twice.

I’ve been lucky to have Brandon in my life because he has taught me just how much you can learn from your mistakes… more so than the successes.

I’ve watched people fall apart when they have breezed through life prior something that was (to me) a minor setback. We’re talking families collapsing.

Is it possible that in the western world’s race for perfection, people are simply ignoring paths that will take them down a path where they might fail? Are people teaching their children that it is better to avoid the risk of failure and simply follow the path of least resistance? How many other 21stcenturyisms follow this line of logic?

…Stay with what is known?

…Play it safe?

…Don’t rock the boat?

…The news said they are bad people, it must be true?

…Follow the rules blindly, it’s easier than thinking for myself?

I think you get the picture

Let’s turn it around. Stop. Relax. Now think of the people you admire and you will probably see at least one that has succeeded despite adversity, or has taken a chance when others said ‘play it safe.’ Isn’t that true success?

So go and take a chance. It’s called life – you only get one!

Shine brightly

Although I had followed this precept since my first few months after my father died, I had never really committed it to paper until a discussion with Martin Walsh. I will expand on this below, but the gem of this axiom is that it works in any situation…

If you are feeling anxious about something (let’s call your anxiety level a 6 on the anxiety Richter Scale)it can feel like there is no way around it – that it is impossible to beat.

If you can raise your confidence level about the trigger of that anxiety to 7, 8 or 9, then you find that your anxiety actually reduces far below that rating of 6.

OK, so how do I raise my confidence level?

Easy – study what scares you.

If you are afraid of sharks, study them. If standing in front of people to talk to them freaks you out, take a course or read on the subject.

I used to be paranoid about sharks thanks to a certain Spielberg movie. So I started borrowing books (there wasn’t any Internet to speak of) and asking people that held diving experiences with sharks. To further raise my confidence, I decided to learn a skill that was related to a dream I’d had as a child (to be able to go under water like The Man from Atlantis or Captain Nemo) – I learned to SCUBA dive. My exam was to dive with sharks and I did this three times (once in Manly Oceanworld; once in Forster, NSW; a third time by pure coincidence on a night dive)

I came out of the water after the night dive and it dawned on me that I was no longer afraid of sharks!*

Does it work in other situations?

I also teach using the confidence method when I’m showing someone who professes a fear of technology. You need to educate yourself about your fears in order to neuter or de-claw them. But don’t go crazy – you just need to know the basics. I didn’t need to know the mating habits of the Port Jackson Shark or become a marine biologist to overcome my fear of sharks – don’t go overboard.

Baby steps

Build your confidence and then test is with baby steps – small tests of your confidence. I’ve been told that some psychologists have a tendencey to thrust people into extreme situations, show the patient everything is fine to de-claw their fears and feel that’s that. In my experience, if you test a little first, you can guage your tension levels and work out how much more confidence (training) you need before you take it to another step.

Is fear of computers real?

Absolutely! But the key is not to give that fear power. Most times it’s actually a feeling of inadequacy about new technology, an inadequacy that is enhanced by what the TV news shows us as “normal.”
i.e. Young people take to technology like ducks to water.

But before you beat yourself up remember that you took to technology when you were young that your grand parents would have thought was scary and so did they when they were young. The difference is that now we live in a world that has news on demand, so we are surrounded by more and more examples of people who don’t fear technology, which actually enhances our insecurities and therefore anxiety.

See? We’re back to Confidence vs. Anxiety

So now I want you to go out there and learn a little. Test a little. Learn some more. And remember that everyone is different so don’t judge yourself by anyone else. This is your journey.

*I still have a healthy fear of great whites, but that’s because their way of testing what something is is having a ‘nibble’ and a Great White’s nibble will normally result in a lost extremity